As your own coach, before you go into thinking about how to resolve a problem or challenge, you first need to become aware of your current behaviour.
Perhaps you may be feeling stuck about a particular problem and struggling to overcome it. Therefore you, as a person, are ‘in’ your problem, if that makes sense. Residing in it, you know what the walls look like; you know how it feels. And, for the time being, this feels like the only place you can live.
What we need to achieve is to simply notice ourselves in our problem. As though we are a 3rd party, lifting the lid and observing ourselves with our problem.
So just hold that image. Recognise that we are living there. That we know what it looks like and how it feels. Notice. Get curious. Remain nonjudgmental.
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Become aware that I’m not asking you to do anything about your situation. And as you become aware, realise that it’s ok just to watch. There is no pressure to change or do anything differently. No one will ask you to come out from where you are. Just breathe and notice yourself from a 3rd person vantage point.
What do you see?
I don’t know whether you can see yourself struggle with your problem, yet from that vantage point not feel it, not have the emotions connected to it.
It’s like applying a local anaesthetic. You can sense something but without the usual response. And you achieve some distance.
Quite subtle, isn’t it? Perhaps it’s even a little silly. But at the heart of so much of coaching and self help is about attaining alternative perspectives. For menu of you this exercise is a massively useful first step in your journey to coach yourself to a more useful solution.
And that’s it? Yes, for now. I invite you to just try out this exercise and see what results you get and how it feels. Don’t overlook how effective this is because it feels simple. Awareness will always be your first response when coping with any challenge.
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Ben Jackson is a registered counsellor, coach, and lecturer with nearly 10 years of professional experience. He helps clients with stress and anxiety, anger management, self esteem, confidence, and depression.
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