I sat with my son recently as we worked through some math homework. He’d been told that once he’d done that be could go and play with the children next door. With little resistance he sat down, clearly motivated by the ‘carrot’ of playtime at the neighbours. Success
Having explained what he needed to do, I watched as he promptly went about putting ticks against each answer box. I stalled myself from intervening because in that action I noticed something quite wonderful. Success
Before starting on the question, he set the intention that he’d got them all correct.
Rather than admonish him for not working through each question, I sat and watched
something else happen. I watched as he set his intention for the exercise. Before starting on the question, he set the intention that he’d got them all correct. He saw it as done already. However intentional or unintentional it was, I like to think it was more the former than the later.
Nevertheless it reminded me of how important it is to set the best mental tone we can, and by seeing success in advance of it happening is a great way to do that. And then work towards achieving it. As Jim Carrey said, you can’t set the intention and “just go eat a sandwich”. Your effort has to match your intent.
What, for instance, would your day trip out be like if you spent a little time imagining how successful it went? Just filling those events with how you wanted to feel and how you’d hope everyone else felt. And see the day as already done. What day might you have then?
Set your intention for the day. See it as already done. Breathe and hold those feelings. Begin the day with no expectations but just curiosity to see how the day unfolds.
These are collection of ad hoc thoughts, moments and reflections that randomly occur in my parenting life. A place to release, share and perhaps laugh at those unique parenting moments that are worth sharing and on occassion enlighten.
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Ben Jackson is a registered counsellor, coach, and lecturer with nearly 10 years of professional experience. He helps clients with stress and anxiety, anger management, self esteem, confidence, and depression.
Such an interesting way to look at events/a day – something I must try 🙂
If you can grab a little time to see the day/event as success and really feel how you’d like it to be .. I think you might be surprised at how it goes. Let me know how you get on! 🙂
I love this. I am quite guilty of just careering through the day without setting any intentions but I think having read this I’m going to start doing it….thanks for the tip!
I understand and appreciate how busy and intense life can get. And to make time for this can be really challenging. Yet it’s so beneficial, at the very least it sets your mindset up for a positive day or outcome and that has to be a good thing! 🙂
Very inspirational. I shall try this tomorrow thank you.
That’s wonderful! So pleased you found it useful 🙂 If you can, look to really feel the day, not just see it, but hold that feeling of joy, happiness, whatever it is for you. Then, see whether you can increase by 10%. Amplify that feeling. It’s like a morning expresso for the mind! Let me know how you get on 🙂
Love this thought. Thanks. Mindset is so important and to have a belief that even though it is hard, we ca be successful helps get through the bumpy patches.
I think that’s so true. What I can add is that this is more that you’re focusing on the outcome rather than the ‘how’ it happens. With a strong enough feeling of how you want to be, you’ll be closer to that outcome. Your mind, your behaviour will help you create that result just by focusing on it. In the same way we drive where our eyes go, so the mind will follow. 🙂
I have known for a long time I need to do this – I often just let the day take me along – and many times I end up not doing as much :/
I certainly know that feeling! It’s great that you’ve that self-awareness to recognise you need to do this. What may be useful to try is to just focus on one or two things in the day rather than the whole day. Or perhaps if there’s something coming up in the next few days, focus a little each morning or evening. You’ll feel the most benefit when you focus on specific parts rather than a general overview. Hope that helps a little – let me know how it goes! 🙂
What a positive post – and I agree with Ben – I tend to focus on achieving one or two things that day so that I really focus and make the most of the little time that I have.
That’s a great example! Thank you for sharing – I think it really is about helping yourself to get the best mindset for the day. I know it’s helped me change what have been usually stress-filled times 🙂
This is great! I often try to take every day in and mark it in my memory. I know I’m going to miss my kids being little, so I’m just loving it as much as possible now!
Well there are different joys that await you as they grow up, and it’s lovely that you’re living in the moment and appreciating who they are 🙂
Psychology for children is such a useful tool in parenting. It should be mandatory for all new parents to read up on how childrens minds work and how to help them develop in the most positive way.
Now that would be invaluable! The good news is that there are more and more providers out there working in schools like me delivering programmes that help children better understand how they do what they do. So there’ll be more and more children becoming parents who will have these skills, ideas and tools to better parent. I think right now we can hope for improving understanding and awareness of a child’s behaviour and have alternative ways to help them 🙂
These are great habits that can be applied to so much, thanks for sharing!
They are! And to begin to play with them at a young age has to be a good thing. Even if you look at the science, the use of imagery in major spots has been going for a long while and has proven very effective. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. 🙂
Thank for sharing. I am still a young adult and single but I think this can also be applied in the workplace.
This can be applied to any age in any situation. Imagine a challenge at work, for example. See it clearly and just paint as though it works out so that you see yourself happy. Play with the image until you get the result you see and really hold on to it, adding to it, enriching it, until you no longer sense the worry or concern. I may have referred to a child using it, but this totally applies to any age. Let me know if you get a chance to try it out!
This is such a great way to look at the events the transpire throughout the day!
It can make a real and tangible difference to not only the day but also the mindset too. You’re less prone to anxiety if you’ve seen the situation end in success. And the great thing is, it’s all in your mind, so you can make number of endings happen! 🙂
I had never thought about it like this! Something I must try as it sounds so positive 🙂
Awesome! Just pick something small, a meeting with a friend; a talk you beed to have that you’re worried over; test it, see what response you get. See how far it can influence the outcome. You might surprised with the results! 🙂 Let me know how it goes!
Despite him ‘ticking the boxes’ and assuming he was correct I agree with you about the lesson that it teaches us. I like that we can all have the intention to be more positive about our success rate x
Thank you! Yes, he got them all correct. Our intention and attention flow like a fire hose, it’s forever on. We simply have to direct it at the point that best serves us. Why not aim it at success? 🙂 I found it a useful reminder for setting intentions as well as how able we are to direct our minds.
Love to know that there are some blogs purely for parenting. Whatever we do in our daily lives, make sure it will have a positive effect. Blessed day ahead.
Well you’ve found one of the most passionate ones on the web! 🙂 Have a good look around for other ideas and suggestions. I’ve tried to bring readers as much value and benefit as I can by using my experience of working with children who have behavioural challenges. It’s not prescriptive and helping parents find alternative methods to improve what they are already doing well 🙂
Positive thinking can have a magical effect 🙂 great to instil in our children
It’s so true. Even if you look at the neurology, seeking the positive attunes your mind to finding it. You can’t see a positive outcome if you hold on to a negative mindset. And to get our children to think in terms of solutions rather than problems they are learning resilience as well as confidence 🙂
What an inspirational read! I think with how busy day to day life can be, we just naturally go in to cruise control mode. Fab read 🙂
Thank you, Jayne ?? You’re right, life can get pretty hectic and even more so as the summer holidays approach! I was certainly taken back to school by my son and reminded that a little positive, focused attention can go a long way. It can’t stop things that are out of our control, but it certainly gives us the best mindset to cope with them. ?
I really like this post and the findings of it, along with its intention. Positivity is key and is something we should all strive for.
Thank you, Lindsey 🙂 Positivity is such a powerful weapon against so many things. Negativity is loud enough, so bringing in some positive energy is really important. 🙂
This is an interesting way to look at things. I think as long as you tried your best that’s all you can do, everything will fall into place exactly how it should.
“All you can do is all you can do. And all you can do is good enough” ? And that’s so true, setting the intention complements that too and acts like a launchpad to doing your best. And to be clear, it’s not that you set the intention and then not make any effort, it’s about framing the mind to best achieve the outcome. You have to work toward it. ?
I use this technique on mine all the time and it works a treat (most of the time)
Ah well, now I’m intrigued of when it doesn’t work! That can be where the fun is lol I’m glad it’s working for you, I consider it a life skill to develop a positive focus and encourage setting the intention, naturally you have to then work toward it! 🙂
It is such a great way to start a day by having the right intentions and thinking positively
Yes, it frames your mind for the day. Needless to say you can do this at any time of the day. And as I mention, you still have to work to make it happen. Can’t just sit there and wait lol Thank you for taking the time to comment ?
So easy to let the day get away from you. It’s a nice idea to make an intention at the beginning of the day, so you make sure to check in with your family, take time for yourself, etc. Thanks for the encouragement.